us is them.

When living in a culture vastly different than your own, it is easy to put yourself in a mindset of "us versus them." Admittedly, I spend a lot of my time tallying up the differences between myself and Malagasy people. Likewise, it is always a relief to talk to other PCVs living in Madagascar about the baffling characteristics that distinguish our culture from theirs.

I considered for some time writing a blog with a list of all the dissimilarities between the American and Malagasy cultures, but that could quickly become a very long (and boring) book. For example, while I may complain bitterly about transportation to my village being unreliable and inconvenient, to them it is perfectly acceptable to wait 6 hours for a ride somewhere. When I go out fishing, I cannot help but think about what a good workout it is for my arms; they are thinking about how much money they can bring in for their families. When I go to the bank or post office, I must remember that there is absolutely no method to the madness of lines; people crowd around you, cut in front of you, or talk to the clerk while you are in the middle of a transaction.

Just as much as I may not understand their culture or why they do things the way they do, they don't seem to get mine. I am constantly being asked questions about the American culture, sometimes disturbingly ignorant, other times amusing and sweet. Are all Americans rich? (They don't believe poor people exist in the US.) Do mermaids live in the ocean over there? (This after watching the movie "Splash.") When a stranger comes to your door, do you invite them to sit with you and eat rice? (No, but I wish we did.)

The sense of "us versus them" can quickly get out of control if you let it. It allows us to be in the right and the other wrong. We can end up spending much of our lives consumed in this mindset, from the guy who's a jerk for cutting us off in traffic to playing a victim role in a failed relationship to intolerance for others with different political or religious beliefs.

As a Peace Corps Volunteer, approaching cultural experiences from this "us versus them" mentality is a deathwish, but one that can still be really hard to let go of. Most of my irritation here comes from wishing "they" would just do things differently. I try to make sense out of the nonsensical, order out of the chaos. Staying focused on the ways that we are similar and becoming more and more accepting of the culture I now live in is the only way I will stay sane.

These days, I'm working a paradigm shift: us IS them.