As my third month back in America rolls past, I am still amazed at some of my daily struggles, challenges, perspectives and feelings of gratitude (and sometimes shock!) for all the things we have in this country. While I search for the best way to articulate my experiences, I keep stumbling across wonderful posts from other Returned Peace Corps Volunteers, which I find incredibly comforting. Was it a wise decision for me to move to a big, unfamiliar city just a month after my return? Would some of my experiences differ had I moved to a small, laid-back town, like Missoula, Montana? I'm not sure...
But, one thing I do know is that it's nice to read articles like the one excerpted below, and remember that I'm not alone in my feelings of uncertainty and wonderment, of belonging and disconnection, of missing a place that I never really belonged to, but somehow now lives inside of me.
The list to follow is from a Huffington Post blog by Ross Szabo, entitled "The Hardest Adjustment in Peace Corps is Coming Home." In the article, he interviews Erica Burman, Director of Communications for the National Peace Corps Association, of which I am now a member. Below he identifies five issues facing Returned Peace Corps Volunteers. I currently experience them all in any number of combinations, daily, and couldn't have made a better list myself.
1. You have changed, but other things stayed the same. In talking about volunteers' adjustment Erica said, "Most people just can't understand that the past 27 months have been a transformative life experience. You've seen and done and survived things most Americans can't imagine. Things that you couldn't have imagined before Peace Corps. You've witnessed exquisite beauty and the most squalid ugliness. Had your values and assumptions fundamentally tested, and your priorities shifted. So you may no longer be your sister's best shopping buddy, or your dad's sports guy. But many friends and loved ones expect you to be, more or less, the same person you were before and you're just not. That can really be painful for everyone."
2. It's great that you volunteered, but have you heard about the Kardashians? Erica stated, "Sadly, most people aren't that interested in what you've done for the past 27 months. Their tolerance for stories about your Peace Corps experience is generally pretty low. They might ask, "So how was Africa?" Not your country, but the entire continent. "Was it hot? Did you see animals?" [Or in my case, when hearing I was in Madagascar, people can think of nothing more intelligent to say than, "I like to move it move it!" and laugh at what they think is a clever, original comment.] After a few minutes the conversation changes to pop culture or some other topic. Meanwhile you have days, weeks, months worth of stories and anecdotes and impressions and comparisons bursting to get out and be shared."
3. Daily life in the U.S. can be boring. Volunteers spend a lot of days talking about how boring life can be during service, but life in the U.S. can seem mundane. Erica shared, "You miss the daily challenges of figuring things out and overcoming obstacles. It can be tough and painful during service, but it's also immensely satisfying when you do persevere and succeed. Life in America is more routine, more predictable. There aren't those thrilling frissons of bewilderment and strangeness."
4. You are no longer a pseudo-celebrity. As I have started to adjust back to life out of Peace Corps it is a bit weird to not have every child yell to me and most people excited to see me walk by them. The novelty of volunteering disappears quickly. Erica says this is pretty common, "As much as volunteers complain about living their lives under a microscope, we can miss the fact that we're no longer special, that people don't really care about our every move. Truth be told, it can be kind of fun and ego boosting to be somewhat famous."
5. Going back to the material world. A lot of Peace Corps Volunteers leave developing countries with water, electricity and basic need shortages and enter America's first world problems like not getting all of the apps on the I-pad to work. Erica talked about this as well, "The superficiality, rush and materialness of much of American life can be hard to come to terms with. Overseas many of us learn to greet everyone, to take in and value each person we meet. We may sit for hours under a tree cracking peanuts with our host mother, just being. Often we become enmeshed in close-knit communities for the very first time. That's different than the hurried, "yeah, let's get together," that never happens. Also striking is the waste. We waste so much stuff. Water, heat, electricity, paper, plastic containers. You name it. Stuff that would be prized overseas is casually tossed here. It can be really disturbing."
RPCVs cope with all of these unique difficulties in different ways. Obviously not all of the adjustment is bad. We reconnect with family/friends, devour sorely missed foods, and bask in the land of washing machines and technology. We come home having missed weddings, births, funerals, divorces and a host of other life changes. We worry about what is next. It takes time to catch up with the people we are closest to. Some parts of the brain just click back on from the pause they had experienced and other parts take a little more time.
But, one thing I do know is that it's nice to read articles like the one excerpted below, and remember that I'm not alone in my feelings of uncertainty and wonderment, of belonging and disconnection, of missing a place that I never really belonged to, but somehow now lives inside of me.
The list to follow is from a Huffington Post blog by Ross Szabo, entitled "The Hardest Adjustment in Peace Corps is Coming Home." In the article, he interviews Erica Burman, Director of Communications for the National Peace Corps Association, of which I am now a member. Below he identifies five issues facing Returned Peace Corps Volunteers. I currently experience them all in any number of combinations, daily, and couldn't have made a better list myself.
1. You have changed, but other things stayed the same. In talking about volunteers' adjustment Erica said, "Most people just can't understand that the past 27 months have been a transformative life experience. You've seen and done and survived things most Americans can't imagine. Things that you couldn't have imagined before Peace Corps. You've witnessed exquisite beauty and the most squalid ugliness. Had your values and assumptions fundamentally tested, and your priorities shifted. So you may no longer be your sister's best shopping buddy, or your dad's sports guy. But many friends and loved ones expect you to be, more or less, the same person you were before and you're just not. That can really be painful for everyone."
2. It's great that you volunteered, but have you heard about the Kardashians? Erica stated, "Sadly, most people aren't that interested in what you've done for the past 27 months. Their tolerance for stories about your Peace Corps experience is generally pretty low. They might ask, "So how was Africa?" Not your country, but the entire continent. "Was it hot? Did you see animals?" [Or in my case, when hearing I was in Madagascar, people can think of nothing more intelligent to say than, "I like to move it move it!" and laugh at what they think is a clever, original comment.] After a few minutes the conversation changes to pop culture or some other topic. Meanwhile you have days, weeks, months worth of stories and anecdotes and impressions and comparisons bursting to get out and be shared."
3. Daily life in the U.S. can be boring. Volunteers spend a lot of days talking about how boring life can be during service, but life in the U.S. can seem mundane. Erica shared, "You miss the daily challenges of figuring things out and overcoming obstacles. It can be tough and painful during service, but it's also immensely satisfying when you do persevere and succeed. Life in America is more routine, more predictable. There aren't those thrilling frissons of bewilderment and strangeness."
4. You are no longer a pseudo-celebrity. As I have started to adjust back to life out of Peace Corps it is a bit weird to not have every child yell to me and most people excited to see me walk by them. The novelty of volunteering disappears quickly. Erica says this is pretty common, "As much as volunteers complain about living their lives under a microscope, we can miss the fact that we're no longer special, that people don't really care about our every move. Truth be told, it can be kind of fun and ego boosting to be somewhat famous."
5. Going back to the material world. A lot of Peace Corps Volunteers leave developing countries with water, electricity and basic need shortages and enter America's first world problems like not getting all of the apps on the I-pad to work. Erica talked about this as well, "The superficiality, rush and materialness of much of American life can be hard to come to terms with. Overseas many of us learn to greet everyone, to take in and value each person we meet. We may sit for hours under a tree cracking peanuts with our host mother, just being. Often we become enmeshed in close-knit communities for the very first time. That's different than the hurried, "yeah, let's get together," that never happens. Also striking is the waste. We waste so much stuff. Water, heat, electricity, paper, plastic containers. You name it. Stuff that would be prized overseas is casually tossed here. It can be really disturbing."
RPCVs cope with all of these unique difficulties in different ways. Obviously not all of the adjustment is bad. We reconnect with family/friends, devour sorely missed foods, and bask in the land of washing machines and technology. We come home having missed weddings, births, funerals, divorces and a host of other life changes. We worry about what is next. It takes time to catch up with the people we are closest to. Some parts of the brain just click back on from the pause they had experienced and other parts take a little more time.
